Checking in— 1 week until Surgery #1

​In one week from today, Rocco will undergo his first surgery to remove his nevus.

Last Friday was his last day of “school” at the ELC because we decided to quarantine him to keep him as healthy as possible for the procedure. My amazing mother-in-law has been staying home with Rocco so I’m still able to work, and that alone has been such a gift.

So many people have been checking on us and asking how I’m feeling. If you had asked me a month ago—at the beginning of February—I would have told you I was not okay. I was stressed. Losing sleep. Constantly thinking about everything that could go wrong. Feeling guilty and worried about leaving Mikey (our 3 year old) for 2 weeks.

 The “what ifs” were loud, and they were relentless.

But about two weeks ago, something shifted in my heart.

I still have moments where doubt creeps in and anxious thoughts try to take over. But I’m learning not to let them stay. Over these past few weeks, God has met me in very tangible ways.

Our beloved parish priest came to bless Rocco, and that moment brought me a peace I can’t even explain — just a deep reassurance that God is in control. The beginning of Lent has helped me refocus my heart and lean more intentionally into my faith. My husband, who normally travels during the week, has been home — bringing stability, calm, and strength into our days. 

Our Early Learning Center family surprised us with an outpouring of love, prayer, and support as Rocco begins this journey. Family, friends, and even friends of friends have donated to Rocco’s GoFundMe, lifting such a tremendous financial weight off our shoulders.

A friend took photos of Rocco at what has become one of my favorite places — the Grotto at our church. I wanted these photos taken because I know that after surgery, he will look different. I wanted to pause time for a moment and capture him just as he is now. Not out of fear, but out of love.I wanted these pictures to celebrate him — his beauty, his innocence, his strength.

So as of now… I’m feeling something I didn’t expect.

I’m feeling eager.

Eager to begin this process for our boy — to move toward the relief and comfort he deserves.

What many may not know is that Rocco’s nevus is severely itchy. So itchy that it wakes him up multiple times at night. We often find blood stains on his crib sheets where he has scratched so hard he’s broken the skin. His nevus is also hot — warm to the touch. It has no sweat glands, so the rest of his body has to overcompensate to keep him cool.

His nevus is heavy. Looking back at pictures from just a few months ago, it appears more raised and bulky. It’s putting pressure on his left eye — thankfully without causing vision issues — but still, it’s there. And then there’s the melanoma risk that will always linger in the back of my mind. His nevus puts him at a higher risk of developing melanoma. Removing it decreases that risk, though it doesn’t erase it completely.

This surgery is the beginning.

The beginning of relief from the itchiness.

The beginning of relief from the heat.

The beginning of relief from the heaviness.

How could I not feel hopeful about that?

I know the road ahead won’t be easy. There will be hard days. But that’s why we have our faith. That’s why we have our family and friends. We are so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by people who lift us up, pray for us, support us, and remind us daily that we are not alone — and that Rocco is so very loved.

And that love carries us forward. 🤍

With all my love,

Jenny